People seem so lifeless these days. I suppose it's not a big deal, I am enjoying the solitude no school has brought me (though sometimes I feel a bit lonely, I'll admit).

I'm off tonight to get all my shit together before moving back to S-dot for the summer. I can't wait to be out of that place and then I can set my computer up in my room and draw, or something.

I think it seems I'm going to end up doing some sort of general labour, going for an interview once I'm moved out and settled (May 1st). Whatever can make me money so I can pay my dad what I owe him and have enough for Vancouver, and for ComicWorks, and you know...stuff.


I cannot wait until my meds are regulated again. I feel like shit. My dose should be higher, anyway.

I don't really have much to say, and I'm not really in a social mood at all these days, hence the lack of me updating...yeah. Whatever.

Tags: random updates
Current Location: s-dot
mood: stressed
music: Fall Out Boy - A Little Less Sixteen Candles...

I have to leave here by 5:45am tomorrow. In order to catch subway/bus.

Why I am still awake, I do not know.

Why I haven't cleaned off my bed, I do not know.

Why I haven't FUCKING PACKED YET, I do not know.

Why I haven't called my therapist yet to cancel tomorrow's appointment, I do not know. Oh wait, I know THAT at least. I hate telephones. And I don't like therapy.


Anyway


NO MORE SCHOOL NO MORE SCHOOL

CERI WINS CERI WINS CERI WINS

OH YES SHE DOES

YAY

OH YEAH

I love what this medication does to me. Now only if I was a tad more mentally stable, we'd be set, wouldn't we?

Oh well.


CERI WINS

NO MORE UNIVERSITY

UNTIL SEPTEMBER

OH YEAH

UNLESS OF COURSE I FAILED A COURSE

HOPEFULLY NOT D:

YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY


Comments disabled because I'm in one of my non-social moods. That, and I'll be away all weekend. Hope you all have a good one.

Tags: ceri wins, happy, manic episode, no school, ocad fails
Current Location: NOT AT SCHOOL
mood: happy
music: PANIC! at the Disco - But It's Better If You Do

NOTE TO SELF: TAKE YOUR MEDICATION ON TIME, MOOD SWINGS ARE NOT GOOD.


The exam was only 3 1/2 hours or whatever...yeah. Mmmmmmm. I finished in 2. I didn't really study. So who knows what I'll get.

I got 82% on my final paper. HOW, I do not know, because I really didn't put any effort into IT either.

I don't even think I put a significant amount of effort into ANYTHING this semester.

I am such a waste of space.


NO MORE SCHOOL

HELL YES


Now if only I was in a good mood right now, and not panicking for who knows what reason, I would...yeah, this day wouldn't completely fail. I almost want to go home, but there's no point in doing that because of my schedule. Besides, with both of my parents home, I won't get much alone time, I'll spend too much money there & back, and I have to leave at 5:30am to catch a bus tomorrow anyway. From Toronto.

I don't even wanna ATTEMPT that shit from Stouffville. The busses don't even run that early there. Jeez.

I should probably eat something to stifle the panic attacks. Before I go run errands in the magical land of South Etobickoe.

Well. I'm going to go now. Good day.

Current Location: school
mood: cynical
music: people typing

WHY THE HELL IS MY LIBERAL STUDIES EXAM SLOTTED FOR 6 HOURS?



Then again, I suppose it being a 2-semester course...but still. 6 FUCKING CONTINUOUS HOURS?!


Maybe I should study for this thing.

Tags: 6 hours, exam, liberal studies, ocad
Current Location: 6 HOURS?!
mood: worried
music: Fall Out Boy - Dance Dance

YOUR LIBERAL STUDIES EXAM IS ON THURSDAY, APRIL 20TH. AT 12:30-3:00PM.


KTHX.

Current Location: classsss!!!!!
mood: anxious
music: professor talking

I am writing my artist statement to the second-worst piece of crap I have made this semester.

Fuck it's worth like 30% of my mark.

Hoo boy.

I have a pounding headache.

Trying to regain sanity.

Failing. Sanity slowly fading.

Fuckery.

Current Location: 317g PC lab
mood: cranky
music: Less Than Jake - Look What Happened

I have to find my teacher, but instead here I am wasting time in the computer lab.

myr3volution, are you going to Time Based Media this Thursday? I really don't want to go. And I handed in my stupid project so I don't really see the point, but... =\ Apparently decision-making is not my strong point today.

Also, I am brilliant enough to forget my keys at home. As in, parent home. As in I'm locked out of my apartment. I'll be going back there this afternoon to get them, and try to salvage whatever is left of my sanity.

This day already fails bigtime.

This better be goddamn PMS, I don't have time or brainpower to be depressed over absolutely nothing again. I don't understand what's so hard about this. I have a good life. A really good life. Why I must be constantly paralyzed with worry and general cynicism is beyond me.

I'm going to calm down and go to the PC lab, so I can finish the last assignment I'll ever have to fucking do for this waste of a year.

AAGSDGSD:GDSJG:LSJGDFSFS . *fumefume*

Tags: depression, fuck this shit, pms, schoolwork, worrying
Current Location: 1430 computer lab at OCAD
mood: cynical
music: The Birthday Massacre - Lovers End

I felt like getting a new email.

nee.sensei@gmail.com

My old email will still forward stuff to this one, so don't worry too much if you forget.

Yep.

Just so you know o_o

Tags: email, new email
Current Location: family room
mood: groggy
music: Placebo - Post Blue

I really wish 98% of the human population, including at least 85% of the people I know personally didn't frustrate me as much as they do.

But...yes.

Kazuma Kodaka keeps me sane.

Tags: frustration, people, socializing
Current Location: T-dot
mood: annoyed
music: Vidoll - IIDK

You know.

It occurs to me that for the first time in a LONG time, I am actually generally content. Like, happy. And not the kind of happy that only lasts a few hours because something good has happened to me.

Like, I'm not depressed and stuff.

I guess there are still things about myself I want to change, like how overdramatic and neurotic I can be sometimes, but...still. It's kind of scary and nice to actually feel this way for once.


I better not have jinxed myself :x

And now I have a lecture to attend, so off I go.

Tags: happy, neurosis, rambling
Current Location: 317g computer lab
mood: jubilant
music: w-inds. - Sora kara oritekita shiroi hoshi